When breakups in a relationship happen, psychology might help us understand why men and women react in a different
manner. If you are in a steady relationship or are married, there are going to be quarrels from time to time. What can make matters worse, is that, if each of the partner’s ways of dealing with conflict is basically different, they will only exacerbate the situation
Many couples have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren’t married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each party understand how the other thinks.
A study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoided intimacy and being dependent on their lover. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned.
Those examined all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more confident in themselves had lower levels, and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, also reacted differently.
What was interesting in the testing was how different the results were in both men and women. The scientists researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the response in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are more prone to avoidance showed any real changes.
Women are more likely to want to direct a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones
actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of the stress hormone Cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly afterwards. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.
Men, however, showed to be more laid-back in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren’t anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of
anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.
When you look for relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of Conflict in men and women will help you know why they react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological study will help you deal with Relationship Conflict better.
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